~Grimwood9

Goodness, I can't remember the last time I had anything to do with a journal. I guess it's healthy to get things out even if keeping them in isn't bad.

I guess I'd first like to comment on the fact that I just finished my first year of college, and goodness... All four years of my High School career couldn't match up to my first year in college, in any way. Overall I enjoyed it, I made new friends, strengthened a few previously existing friendships, started and ended one relationship, and on the last day, started another one(hopefully the last).

In regards to my family, well, my mom's back in the hospital. I had to come forth for my Dad about how I felt about everything, and he wasn't surprised but he was waiting to hear it from my mouth. My mom keeps ignoring the doctors because she hasn't grown out of her "rebellious teenager" phase...so she keeps sending herself back to the hospital, each time something new is found about her, and each new thing keeps the doctors staring at each other like a bunch of chimps. So she's become the hospital's guinea pig for drugs and stuff until they figure it out.

In regards to my new relationship, I feel like a kid again. In the good way. Truthfully, I had given up and lost hope in relationships, love, all the things that people make to be the pinnacle of true happiness. So before this, I came to the conclusion that true happiness can only be obtained through lying to yourself. This was a conclusion I only came to simply because I had become a pessimist. But find her, and finding that she felt the same, if not more...re-awakened the other half of the human in me, if it had either fallen asleep, or never been at all...in other words, I felt like a new person, in a great way. It felt something like finding out, suddenly, that god is real and he's totally okay with me not believing in him all along and gave me a hug. I have much more to say on the matter, but I am needed elsewhere...